Poetic Commentary on Parshat Be'Midbar

The name of this week's parashah, and the fourth book of the torah, is Be'midbar meaning "in the wilderness."  It can be found in the book of Be’midbar /Numbers 1:1 - 4:20).

A rabbinic commentary points out that if we change one vowel in the name of the parasha,  the word במדבר  be’midbar, in the wilderness, becomes be'midabeיr, or with one who is speaking.

I found this ironic, since the wilderness is usually associated with silence and solitude. However, we can imagine that the wilderness of Sinai and its surroundings must have been anything but silent, with the multitudes of Israelites and others wandering through it for 40 years.

However, we all know that even in the midst of a cacophony one can experience silence, just as one can experience deafening noise while walking in solitude.  What determines the silence or the solitude is not one’s physical surroundings, but one’s inner state.

This poem uses the two different readings of the letters מדבר mentioned above to explore these various images.

The Wilderness of Silence and Speech

wilderness

is silent

still

serene

filled only

with

sounds  of nature

       wind rustling

     brush blowing

sand      animal footfalls

howls in the night

whispering the truth

a whole civilization lives

within this  wild place

humans go there

         to be at peace

       alone

  so we think

this is

fantasy

    ideal     not real

our wilderness

is filled with people

is wild with sound

                with speech

          with dissent

    with screams

with tears

    with laughter

        with joyous shouts

            with words of love

          with speech

    never silent

40 years   

give or take

give and take

we take what we are given

            give back what has been taken

a life in the wilderness

alive with the sounds

the speech

         the words

creating and destroying

  people   life    worlds

     filling the silence

  a wild place of words

      cries of revolt

  it swallows up rebels

      critical words

turn a sister’s skin to white

    a chorus of complaint

fills us to bursting

words of mistrust

set us wandering

               still

words soothe praise comfort

    the death of sons

        of a sister and brother

            of so many

words decree the death of a dream

the death of a leader

the birth of a new people

I wish words would cease

     filling the wilderness

        filling my mind

     emptying me of the ability

to be still

silent

alone

at one

with you

I want

a wilderness

without speech

without words

damnation

       praise

    love

   hate

  comfort

distress

it does not matter

I do not want

I do not need

any words

I need a sanctuary

          not a wild place

but a place

where I can hear

   only you

       only me

            in the stillness     the silent sounds

       the whispers of the spirit

   hovering around us all

this is  

what I long for

what we all need

 Unfortunately

    most do not know

    for they cannot hear

    the whisper of your voice

they can only hear

their own words

constant cacophony

striving for everything

sound and fury achieving nothing

only in subtle stillness can we find

everything

only in nothingness

can we find the truth

you

ourselves

one and the same

now

this moment

I wish

we would all

stop talking

exile words from our lips

allow us to return

home

to the silent land

the true wilderness

of the soul

where it all began

where it all continues

where we are

here

now

present

in the moment

with you