Parshat Ki Tissa: Beyond the Golden Calf

-
This week's  parashah Ki Tissa (Shemot/Exodus 30:11-34:35) includes the all-too-familiar narrative of the Golden Calf. After Moses smashes the Tablets of the Ten Commandments and destroys the Calf, Moses ascends Mt. Sinai for a second time in order to receive a new set of tablets from God.

While on the mountain, Moses experiences what we might call a crisis of faith.  He tells God in no uncertain terms that God must be in the lead as they commence their journey.  In addition, Moses implores God to be able to see God’s “face” – to know God’s true essence.  Moses tells God that he cannot continue to lead the people if God does not meet his demands (my words, not the Torah’s).

God tells Moses that no one can see the Divine Face and live.  Instead, God places Moses in the cleft of a rock and allows the Divine Glory to “pass” Moses.  As God passes, God proclaims what we refer to as the 13 attributes of God, including God’s mercy and compassion, as well as God’s justice and anger.  When Moses looks up, he is only able to see God’s “back,” or the result of God’s presence in the world. 

This is enough for Moses and he is prepared to write a new set of tablets, return to the people and continue the journey.  This is a poetic commentary based on that experience.


Brokenness to Wholeness

I need certainty
     I need  you with me
each moment
 I need to know you
 now

I   we  cannot
go on without knowing
     you are with us  leading

I cannot
we cannot
I stop   listen  hear
 your reply to me   us

 I am here    you say
you  are  my   people
you  are special

continue
 on your journey
 I will be with you

 I hear
 I believe
 yet I don’t


 II.
you know me
 you know us
 by name
but  I    we
 know nothing of you

 please I implore    beg   plead
show me     you
 let me experience
 all of you

 you respond
I cannot  see your face
  only your back

    no
this is not enough
I want   need   insist on
    certainty
for me to lead the people
 into the unknown

 to heal the wounds
 make whole the broken
after the tragedy
 I must know you beyond seeing
        I need to know not just your name
but the essence of your being

 you say
 I will die if I see you
 I believe I am lost
if I do not
experience more

 I hear God’s reply
       silence

  III.
 I carve the tablets
     again
 waiting for you
 I climb the mountain
 still    wanting       waiting    needing
more than I know
 you will ever  give

suddenly all is darkness
I hear your voice
I feel your love    compassion    anger
    everything that is your essence
 in that moment      I know
 deep  within   my   soul
 you shall forgive  punish  absolve  blame
        all

my eyes see nothing
   my soul sees everything
        knowing we shall all
             be healed
 through your compassion
          justice         mercy
bringing the people together
     bringing  me  closer
           to   you
 always here with us
       within us

 my eyes suddenly open
 I see the new tablets
 carved by my hands
     awaiting your words
 whole    unbroken 
     a shining remembrance
       of your compassion
          the other tablets
a shattered remembrance
   of what was
      what the people did
 placed  side by side
 inextricable link   lifechain   
from brokenness to wholeness
 and back
 neverending cycle
returning us to you
   always with us
leading each of us
 each moment

we must stop
pay attention
   look within
I   know  now
no longer doubting
this is the truth
I no longer need 
  to see your face
 in order to find   certainty
   I am  content    whole
 I am ready
   to move on
securely
into the unknown
that you will make known
in your time

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parshat Shemot: From Pharaoh to President (a Response to this Past Week's Riots in Washington)

-
This week’s parashah is Shemot (Shemot/Exodus 1:1 - 6:1). Shemot means names and it begins with a list of the names of the Israelites who came to Egypt with Jacob after reuniting with his beloved son Joseph. The Israelites then multiply greatly in numbers until we are told that a new king/Pharaoh arose who did not know Joseph. He was afraid that the Israelites were becoming too powerful and so he enslaved them. Not remembering that their ancestor Joseph was the one who saved Egypt from famine he had no problem exercising his royal prerogative to do this. Why did Pharaoh fear the Israelites so much that he enslaved them? Perhaps it was not that he didn’t remember Joseph, but that he chose to erase him from history. Perhaps he intentionally desired to forget the past. He wanted to be in complete control. He wanted to be the only person the people thought about. And knew that the Israelites, not only because of their numbers, but because the people remembered their ancestor Joseph, were a...
Read more

White Privilege, Charlottesville and Our Responsibility

-
Author's note: Usually my posts deal with the Torah portion or "spiritual matters."  Today I am writing my own thoughts in the aftermath of this weekend's tragedy in Charlottesville.   To me, these matters are indeed spiritual, because they deal with the human spirit and what God desires of us all, as created in the Divine image. Though written from my perspective as a rabbi with a Jewish audience in mind, I know that not all those who will read this are indeed Jewish.  However, much of what I wrote applies to white people, and Americans, in general. I believe the issues I raise are essential if we are going to make any progress in the fight against racism and hatred. I welcome comments, whether you agree or disagree.  All I ask is that they remain civil and respectful.  If they are not, I will not post them. L'shalom u'verakha-with Peace and Blessings, Rabbi Steven Nathan ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Th...
Read more

Parshat Eikev: Finding our Place within God

-
In this week's parashah /portion is Eikev ( D'varim / Deuteronomy 7:12 – 11:25), Moses continues to address the people in preparation for his death and their entry into the land of Canaan. He recounts for them what occurred at Sinai, including the incident of the Golden Calf. In addition, he continually reminds them of the blessings that they will receive from God if they obey the commandments and the curses that shall befall them if they do not. He then recounts the miracles that God performed for them in the desert and the promise that God will slowly, but surely, dislodge the inhabitants of Canaan so that they can inherit the land promised to their ancestors. For my commentary I would like to focus on two specific passages: 1) "Remember the long way that YHWH, your God, has made you travel in the wilderness these past forty years, that God might afflict you as a test in order to discover what is in your heart and whether or not you would keep God's commandments...
Read more

Beyond Sandy Hook: The Prophetic Call for Unity and Community

-
This week we wish had never been. We saw America – and humanity - at it's worst and at it's best. We witnessed unspeakable violence against innocent children and adults. Yet, we also heard the stories of the brave teachers who risked and lost their lives saving their students. The stories of 6 yr. olds who grabbed their friends and ran with them to safety, even holding the door for them, while the gunman was still in the building. We read of the neighbor of Sandy Hook Elementary School, who took in the young children he found sitting in his driveway, still dazed and in shock, and cared for them until their parents arrived. And we witnessed the strength of the parents who, in their time of deepest loss, turned not to anger, but instead to love , wanting nothing more than to share who their child was in life, even while mourning their death. These are all humanity, and America, at its best. But after the carnage was over, we began to hear other examples ...
Read more