Parshat Tazria-Metzorah: Beyond Skin Deep
This week we
read the double parashah/portion of Tazria-Metzora
(Vayikra/Leviticus 12:1-15:33). The parashah
introduces the various categories of tumah (ritual or
spiritual “impurity”, for lack of a better word) emanating from
human beings. The parashah describes in great detail the
varying and numerous manifestations of the disease called tzara'at.
Although it has been commonly mistranslated as leprosy, this disease
has little resemblance to any bodily ailment transmitted through
normal exposure. Rather, tzara'at appears to be some kind of
growth that can occur on a house or on clothing (like mold or fungus)
or on a person's body.
Tradition
views the disease as being the physical manifestation of a spiritual
malaise, a punishment from God primarily for the sin of speaking
lashon hara (evil speech). Known as a metzora, someone
afflicted by a tzaraat-like patch on their skin is subject to
a series of examinations by a Kohen (high priest), who
declares the patient to be either tahor (pure) or tamei
(impure). If tamei, they are isolated outside of the camp
until, upon inspection, the kohen declares
them to be “pure.”
Traditional
commentaries view this as an appropriate punishment for someone whose
improper speech caused others to become separated from one another.
Once the person is declared tahor
(pure) by the kohen,
the kohen then
administers a three part purification process, complete with
immersion in water, korbanot (offerings), and the shaving of
the entire body.
The
idea of God punishing a person with a physical ailment for the sin of
gossip and speaking evil of others does not fit with my personal 21st
century sensibilities. However, the idea that lahon ha'ra
/ evil speech can infect a person with a spiritual malady certainly
rings true. But what about the isolation of the person from the
camp? This punishment is reminiscent of the way lepers were treated
in ancient times or the way that people with diseases such as
HIV/AIDS have been ostracized and shunned by society in more recent
times. Yet, I don't believe that is what the Torah meant.
As
I wrote above, it makes sense that a person who has caused discord
and separation within a family or a community by their speech be
separated from others as a consequence. It is important to remember
that the ultimate outcome is that they are declared tahor/pure,
or ready to participate in the religious rituals of the community.
That is precisely why they further purify themselves with immersion,
make an offering to God and shave all their hair before they fully
return. It is as if they are being born anew, rising from the waters
of purification rather than the womb, skin smooth as the day they
were born.
But
how would the person feel going through this process? I can only
imagine.
Alone
I
am alone
how
did I get here I know the answer too well
I
spoke and hatred came into being
I
spoke and suffering entered the world
I
spoke from a place of jealousy envy insecurity
and
others were destroyed
now
I am here on my own where I must where I should be
here
I can speak but it cannot be heard
it
cannot hurt cannot destroy others only me
I
deserve I need to be here
to
rid myself of the desire to decimate others through my words
to
kill the part of me that wishes to murder others with my speech
to
leave here eventually pure simple loving as the day I
was born
I
sit here surrounded by emptiness desert desolation
no
one here but me and God
I
want to scream cry run dissolve into the earth
grains
of sand to be blown away by the divine breath
then
I will be no more
but
I know that this is not why I am here
and
so I sit in silence listening to the voice within
chastising
berating flogging my soul with its words
taking
the hatred once directed towards others
and
turning it inwards
then
the voice changes
again
facing out to the world it cries out that this is wrong
I
should not be here I did nothing wrong
they
deserved my hatred scorn contempt
for
they did not recognize accept love me
they
did not delight in my mere existence
and
so I made them pay
no
the voice from the deepest place within me cries out
this
is not how it was
only
in your mind your ego
it
was a delusion to enable you to rise above others
wanting
to believe you were better
it
was you who brought about the separation
it
was you who engendered the hatred and scorn through your speech
it
was you who terrorized others
in
order to avoid the terror of intimacy
yes
this is the truth
I
did all this things
not
out of hatred jealousy envy
but
out of fear
fear
of connection fear of the demands of honest relationship
it
was easier to lash out and isolate
than
to draw in and embrace
sitting
here I listen to these voices messages struggling within
but
as I sit still silent listening a single voice finally remains
the
voice of the Divine the One that connects us all
it
has defeated the voice of distinctions separations the ego
suddenly
I open my eyes for the first time to see nothing
my
skin is no longer covered with the festering sores which my fear created
I
know in my heart that my spirit is pure prepared to rejoin the
others
ready
to wash away the filth that still remains from all the harm I created
ready
to offer of myself to the Divine the One who has resurrected me
read
to enter the world my community my people
body
smooth as the day I was born
soul
as pure as the moment it was created
heart
open wide as it must have been before though I cannot
remember
yes
I am ready
and
so I sit and wait for them to be ready for me
I
desire for it to be soon
but
I know in my soul it will be when it is meant to be
Shabbat Shaom,
SPN
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