Parshat Be'Midbar: Sound and Silence

-
The name of this week's parashah/portion, and the fourth book of the Torah, is Be'midbar which means "in the wilderness"  (Be’midbar /Numbers 1:1 - 4:20).

A rabbinic commentary points out that if we change one vowel in the name of the parashah,  the word במדבר  be’midbar, in the wilderness, becomes be'midabeיr, or with one who is speaking.
I found this ironic, since the wilderness is usually associated with silence and solitude. However, we can imagine that the wilderness of Sinai and its surroundings must have been anything but silent, with the multitudes of Israelites and others wandering through it for 40 years.
However, we all know that even in the midst of a cacophony one can experience silence, just as one can experience deafening noise while walking in solitude.  What determines the silence or the solitude is not one’s physical surroundings, but one’s inner state.
This poem uses the two different readings of the letters מדבר mentioned above to explore these various images.  (Note: I first published this poem a few years back, but this is a newly edited version)

the wilderness of silent speech
 
wilderness
silent    still   serene
filled only with sounds  of nature
wind rustling   brush blowing  sand      
animal footfalls   howls in the night
all whisper the truth     of creation   existence
a whole civilization   within this  wild expanse
humans go there    to be alone    at one   at peace
        so we think
for this is  fantasy    the ideal     not real
for us
our wilderness     is filled with people
is wild with sound
                speech
          dissent
    screams
tears
    laughter
        joyous shouts
            words of love
          speech
    never with silence

for 40 years     give or take
we take what we have been given
            give back what has been taken
our life in the wilderness
alive with the sounds  speech words
creating and destroying
  people   life    worlds
     engulfing the silence
  creating a wild place of words
      filling it with cries of revolt
  it swallows up rebels
      with critical words
turning a sister’s skin white
    a chorus of complaint
filling us to bursting
words of mistrust
setting us wandering
               still
words also  soothe    praise    comfort 
our grief over
    the death of sons
        of a sister and brother
            of so many

words decree the death of a dream
the death of a leader
the birth of a new people
the start of a new journey

and yet I wish words would cease
     filling the wilderness     and my mind
     emptying me of the ability
to be still   silent  alone  at one     with you
I want a  another wilderness
one without speech   words
damnation   praise     love   hate   comfort
I do not want   I do not need   any words
I need a sanctuary   not a wild place  
but a place  where I can hear
   only you   only me one and the same
            in the stillness     the silent sounds
       the whispers of the spirit
   hovering around   within   us all 
    in the stillness of the One

this is  what I long for
what we all need
    ye most do are not aware
for they cannot hear  the whisper of your voice
they can only hear    their own words
constant cacophony   constantly striving for everything
sound and fury achieving nothing

it is only in subtle stillness we can find   everything
only in nothingness  we can find the truth
the oneness of existence

now    in this moment
I wish we would all   stop talking
exile words from our lips
allowing us to return 
to the land of silence 
the true wilderness  of the soul
where it all began   where it all continues
where we are   here    now
present in the moment   within you
in your wilderness
we are home

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Parshat Shemot: From Pharaoh to President (a Response to this Past Week's Riots in Washington)

-
This week’s parashah is Shemot (Shemot/Exodus 1:1 - 6:1). Shemot means names and it begins with a list of the names of the Israelites who came to Egypt with Jacob after reuniting with his beloved son Joseph. The Israelites then multiply greatly in numbers until we are told that a new king/Pharaoh arose who did not know Joseph. He was afraid that the Israelites were becoming too powerful and so he enslaved them. Not remembering that their ancestor Joseph was the one who saved Egypt from famine he had no problem exercising his royal prerogative to do this. Why did Pharaoh fear the Israelites so much that he enslaved them? Perhaps it was not that he didn’t remember Joseph, but that he chose to erase him from history. Perhaps he intentionally desired to forget the past. He wanted to be in complete control. He wanted to be the only person the people thought about. And knew that the Israelites, not only because of their numbers, but because the people remembered their ancestor Joseph, were a...
Read more

White Privilege, Charlottesville and Our Responsibility

-
Author's note: Usually my posts deal with the Torah portion or "spiritual matters."  Today I am writing my own thoughts in the aftermath of this weekend's tragedy in Charlottesville.   To me, these matters are indeed spiritual, because they deal with the human spirit and what God desires of us all, as created in the Divine image. Though written from my perspective as a rabbi with a Jewish audience in mind, I know that not all those who will read this are indeed Jewish.  However, much of what I wrote applies to white people, and Americans, in general. I believe the issues I raise are essential if we are going to make any progress in the fight against racism and hatred. I welcome comments, whether you agree or disagree.  All I ask is that they remain civil and respectful.  If they are not, I will not post them. L'shalom u'verakha-with Peace and Blessings, Rabbi Steven Nathan ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Th...
Read more

Parshat Eikev: Finding our Place within God

-
In this week's parashah /portion is Eikev ( D'varim / Deuteronomy 7:12 – 11:25), Moses continues to address the people in preparation for his death and their entry into the land of Canaan. He recounts for them what occurred at Sinai, including the incident of the Golden Calf. In addition, he continually reminds them of the blessings that they will receive from God if they obey the commandments and the curses that shall befall them if they do not. He then recounts the miracles that God performed for them in the desert and the promise that God will slowly, but surely, dislodge the inhabitants of Canaan so that they can inherit the land promised to their ancestors. For my commentary I would like to focus on two specific passages: 1) "Remember the long way that YHWH, your God, has made you travel in the wilderness these past forty years, that God might afflict you as a test in order to discover what is in your heart and whether or not you would keep God's commandments...
Read more

Beyond Sandy Hook: The Prophetic Call for Unity and Community

-
This week we wish had never been. We saw America – and humanity - at it's worst and at it's best. We witnessed unspeakable violence against innocent children and adults. Yet, we also heard the stories of the brave teachers who risked and lost their lives saving their students. The stories of 6 yr. olds who grabbed their friends and ran with them to safety, even holding the door for them, while the gunman was still in the building. We read of the neighbor of Sandy Hook Elementary School, who took in the young children he found sitting in his driveway, still dazed and in shock, and cared for them until their parents arrived. And we witnessed the strength of the parents who, in their time of deepest loss, turned not to anger, but instead to love , wanting nothing more than to share who their child was in life, even while mourning their death. These are all humanity, and America, at its best. But after the carnage was over, we began to hear other examples ...
Read more