Parashat Korakh - my first post in a year

This is a new version of a commentary and poem I have posted in the past. I hope you enjoy.
Here's hoping I start posting again on a regular basis.
Shabbat Shalom
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This week’s parashah/portion, Korakh (Numbers/Be’midbar 16:1-18:32), tells of the revolt against Moses’s leadership led by his cousin Korakh, along with Datan and Abiram. These three, and their followers, challenged Moses and Aaron by claiming that everyone is holy. One could say that it was a biblical version of “you're not the boss of me,” or for those of another generation, “who died and left you bosss?”

If their argument with Moses and Aaron was rooted in their concern for God or the people, what Jewish tradition calls l'shem shamayim (literally, for the sake of heaven) then Moses and Aaron could have discussed or debated the issue with them. After all, disagreement and debate l'shem shamayim is at the heart of Jewish tradition (especially among the later rabbis).

Unfortunately, their revolt, both as portrayed in the Torah and as understood by later commentators, was fueled by ego and hubris, rather than by any belief in equality or the needs of the community. This is why their words were not l'shem shamayim, and why they are swallowed by the earth as punishment. However, that is not the end of the story. For God realizes that there may still be doubt among the people who were not involved in the revolt. Perhaps there was even some doubt within Moses and Aaron.

Therefore, on the following day, God commanded Moses to take the staff from each the leader of all the tribes and to place them in the ground inside the Mishkan/Tabernacle. The next morning they returned and discovered that Aaron’s staff, representing the tribe of Levi, had sprouted almond blossoms. This symbolized that his role, as well as that of Moses, also of the tribe of Levi, was indeed divinely ordained and not simply a duty they placed upon themselves.

In reading the text this time, I couldn't help but wonder what Aaron might have been thinking as all this occurred. We know from prior occurrences in the Torah, that both Moses and Aaron questioned themselves and their ability to lead the people at times. Perhaps, I wondered, did Aaron feel himself being “pulled down” together with his cousin and others? Did he question if he was the right person to serve as the religious leader of the people? In the end, we know that he continued to fill his role as High Priest until the day he died, and that he prepared his remaining sons to do the same. But what might have been going through his mind as he witnessed Korach's rebellion, as he saw the rebels swallowed by the earth and as he waited to see what would happen to his staff, as it stood in the mishkan together with that of the other tribal leaders?

Here is one possibility. Hopefully you will find it meaningful not only in terms of this parashah, but also with regard to issues of leadership and community which are so much in the forefront of national and worldwide dialogue at this time.

Shabbat Shalom.

blossoming from darkness to light

(revised 6/22/17)

I am here in darkness

why what have I done

I hear voices screaming pleading

seeing only darkness impenetrable

I am in the ground swallowed whole

I am not dead or perhaps I am

why did I do it

why didn't I run

why was I afraid of them

they were so persuasive

all are holy

we are holy

who is Aaron

who is Moses

we are all priests

all can serve God

yes we are all holy

yet all have different tasks

all can see and serve God

each in their own way

I didn't want to be high priest

above others

over the community

I don’t know what I wanted

then I heard their voices

becoming my voice proclaiming

we are holy

you have too much

we have not enough

you shall see

I saw firepans

smelled incense

searing burning

I knew what was happening

I sensed what might happen

now I can feel and see only darkness

I had seen God’s power before

moments of glory and terror

deliverance at the sea

plague and death in the desert

I knew the possibilities

yet I ignored my heart

I did not pay attention to its words

I heard only their words

Korakh Dathan Abiram

I became them              they were a part of me

they became my unconscious conscience

voice of unreason

smoldering incense

transformed into flaming earth

opening up       swallowing us

filling my mouth ears nose soul

with the dark smoke of oblivion

now I am here

forever beneath the surface

I do not know what is above

what exists          what is real

remaining still

listening waiting

it seems an eternity

I try reaching out up

my hand moves slightly

suddenly it breaks through the earth

shattering the shell encasing me

freeing me from living death

I feel air on my hand

my body remaining submerged underground

my soul my heart

remaining shrouded in darkness uncertainty

again I reach out

I grasp something

it pulls me up from the earth toward the light

the darkness pulls me down

wanting me to remain caught

torn        in between

eternal liminality

where do I belong

under here or up there

with them or with the others

I simply do not know

the force continues pulling me upward

powerful        unstoppable

leading me toward my unknown destiny

I emerge        birthed from my tomb

dirt falling off my clothing

the light the sun

I sense the shimmering

fire and cloud of Divinity

all blinding me still

unable to see

I hear a voice calling out a name

Aaron

is that me         I am bewildered

then I realize

that voice is pulling me up from the ground

telling me that I have been saved

dazed and puzzled

I look around me

I see the people my people

surrounding staring frightened wondering

why did I survive

I hear a voice whisper the answer

I have a mission

in that moment I know

I must show the people

we are all one       though each with a different role

none is special       holy      chosen

unless we all are equal

unless we all are one

in that moment I realized what saved me

what I held on to          what held on to me

my destiny still in my hands

shielding my eyes from burning light

I begin to feel the warmth of the Divine

in my heart and soul

in my hand I see a staff blossoming

I smell the sweetness of almond blossoms

awakening me reminding me of who I am

what I must do

how I must show those remaining
 the truth

we are One we are holy

that is the truth I can see          others try to see

what saved us all from destruction

the others are gone underground

devoured by their gods

ego hubris pride greed jealousy

that had blinded them to the truth

but their gods still exist within each of us

struggling to get out to take over to make us forget

the truth

in that moment I open my eyes not knowing when they closed

not know if all this was real or a dream

but knowing it is the truth

I am in the tent holding my staff firmly gently

smelling the sweet blossoms the breath of the Divine
not the dust of the earth the stench of death.

I am where I belong playing the role I most

an accident of birth or does God know something about me

which I do not

what I do know is that now in this moment in this place

I open my heart to God to holiness to the One

something they others could not can never do

I know now my body was never beneath the earth

but for a moment my soul was

as my ego tried to drag me down with them

as I look around now at my people I pray

that the radiance of my open heart will bathe them in its light

so heart by heart we open as one to the One

moment by moment soul by soul action by action

doing our best to create a holy people a priestly community

each of us blossoms created by God opening to God

each exquisite delicately strong divinely human

struggling trying reaching opening

to see to know the truth the beauty

of that which is beyond that which is within

what the others would not let them selves see

the holiness the One within us all