The Binding - a 5-part poem on the Akeidah (Binding of Isaac)
The story of Akeidat Yitzhak, or the Binding of Isaac, is one of the most suspenseful, and probably problematic, narratives in the Torah. For a father to be asked to sacrifice his son in order to prove his faith in God seems to be an almost sadistic test. Yet, I have always wondered who was really being tested. Was it merely Yitzhak or was it also his father Abraham. What about Sarah, who is not even mentioned in the narrative? And perhaps God was testing God's self.
This poem imagines what what have been going through the minds of all four "characters" in the story at that time and ends with my own thoughts and response to the events in the narrative.
As you read it, think about your own reactions and how you might see yourself in the story.
L'shanah tovah u'metukah - a happy, sweet (and meaningful!) New Year,
Rabbi Steve
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The binding
a poem in 5 parts
I. bound faith
Yitzhak
my name
Yitzhak
a verb
he shall laugh
I cannot laugh
the name itself
a cruel joke
they made a mistake
it should have been
Yitz'ak
he shall cry out
no
not even that is right
I am not a verb
I do not act
I simply am
I know not
precisely who what
let father decide
let mother decide
let God decide
letting me decide
is absurd
it makes me laugh
but there is
no one to hear
I am alone
I have left my parent’s house
still I carry it within me
I have left
the place of my birth
Perhaps now I can finally be born
I have left
my land
my piece of earth
never really mine
Only one spot belongs to me
the place
where I was bound
the place
where I was willing
to give up
my life
my self
for my father
for his God my God
the place
where I was prepared to act
to finally become
a verb
a man
by doing nothing
inactive action
courageous folly
in that place
at that time
I became human
I became one with
God
father
mother
brother
all
I realized in that moment
I am alone yet not alone
in that moment I was bound
not to the altar of fire
I was bound
to the altar of faith
bound faith
not blind faith
faith
in the One who gave me life
upon that altar
the moment I surrendered
is when I chose
to act
to do
to make a difference
to live
by allowing my self
to die
I pray
I can continue to act
to make a difference
to become a blessing
I begin my journey
to the place not shown
to the place
I will find on my own
step by step
perhaps that is the point
each step of the journey is
the destination
the place
of the Divine
where we are meant
to be to live
each place both end and beginning
in each place
able to bind ourselves
to the One
the All
the moment
that is
the essence of the sacrifice
the journey
of being
alive
ii. sarah's test
why did I let him leave
how could I not
my son
my only one
whom I love
more than life
is no longer
here with me
I could not look
I could only hear
sitting in my tent
surrounded by God’s light
afraid
I would fail the test
rise up from my place
run to him
embrace him
prevent him
from going
growing
living
leaving
but I did not
I passed the test
I held my screams
tears fear self
inside
I allowed
him to leave
with his father
knowing only one
would return
this was the only way
to fulfill God's promise
to let him go
into the wilderness
the unknown
from where we came
trusting in God
trusting in Abraham
trusting the voice in my soul
a soul torn
from my body
the moment
I could no longer hear his voice
see his face
feel his touch
the moment I realized
he was no longer mine
as he should not be
perhaps now
he will become
who he was meant to be
Yitzhak
a child of laughter
I remember
my laughter disbelief when told I would give birth Abraham's laughter incredulity joy
but did Yitzhak's laughter ever exist
yes a memory
a shadow
a childhood
long ago cut short
the moment
he realized he was not
to be like others
in the days before
my fear jealousy hatred
masquerading as love
tore his brother
away from him
the one
the only one he loved
made him feel
he was not alone
perhaps now he will l
augh live
fulfill the promise
create a people like
sands on the shore
stars in the sky
shining brightly
with the faith of his father
able to shift to change
like his mother
with ebb and flow
constantly changing impermanence
trying to build a life
on hopes and dreams
that never turn out as we imagine
I do not know
I can only pray
this shall be
now
I am alone
sitting in my tent
God's light shining above
this is more than enough
these days have been longer
one night lasting an eternity
the sun
remained in hiding
never rising never setting
only darkness my last night
in the distance
I see three figures
two servant boys I do not know
a man I know well
with whom I have shared lifetimes
bent over with sorrow and age
he has passed his test
I see no one else
that is enough it is done
nothing more to do
but breathe and wait
for God to descend
to return my soul breath to its source
to someday be reunited with the soul
that came into the world through me
filling me with laughter joy blessing
who will now do so
for those yet to come
I am ready
to die to be reborn to wait
to see what comes next
for him
for me
for us all
III. after the ram
the slaughter was easier than I had imagined
the sacrifice was not what I had thought
or was it
I did not need to kill him
I needed to kill
the part of him within me
the ram
trapped in the thicket
by its horns
a father
trapped in the moment
by his fear and joy
a son
set free at last
by the one
who kept him bound all these years
I saw the ram
I knew what to do
as in a dream
I untied the boy
looked at him
he turned away
I turned my back
knowing I would never see him again
I took my time
not wanting to turn around
to see the inevitable
nothing no one
he was gone
the ram struggled
to be free
I struggled
to give freedom
I bound the ram
I saw his face
I slaughtered the ram
I saw my tears
I burned the body on the altar
I saw God smile
I returned home
I saw her scream
At that moment
I knew the journey was over
the journey had just begun
Yitzhak
my child of laughter
not that day
I had only
to slaughter a ram
to sacrifice a relationship
I had no choice
but to choose this path
now we are each on our journeys
destinations the same
unknown
as I walked
down
the mountain
to return
I feel something
in my hand
I look down
I see a horn reminder
of what happened
of what did not
of my test and his
I still have it still sound it today
to remember that moment
all that I lost then
all that I have now
which will also be lost
as everything is
after the ram
nothing was the same
before the ram
nothing was different
so it is
before each moment
after each moment
a life continuing
trial to trial
sacrifice to sacrifice
joy to joy
sorrow to sorrow
breath to breath
until it ends
which it never truly does
iv. the trial of God
it is finished
it is just begun
neither both
it simply continues
why did I test them
why did need to test me
why could I not have faith in my creations
why did I need to know
the answer
which really remains unknown
even after the test is over
my children showed me
the meaning of faith
what have I shown them
the meaning of
testing trying manipulating
not really faith
but no
I have shown them
the meaning of mercy forgiveness
trust in the moment
in which they each chose
each one unique
the test the subject the response
each one bears witness
to faith in me
in the part of me within them
that is them
faith in relationship
interdependence
unity
at least that is what I tell myself
the answer we are one
I thought I knew that then
I truly know that now
they did not forsake me
I did not abandon them
I tested them
they turned to me for strength
knowing I was the source
of their pain
what amazing creatures I have made
to be separate
yet a part of me
of everything
I know
I have caused suffering
son torn from father
father sacrificing son
mother sacrificing all
soon to die
to rejoin her source
a family
torn asunder
always bound together
with me within me
through their faith
perhaps this is not a consolation
in this moment
perhaps one day it will be
does that matter
after all is finished
I know
I do not want or is it need
to test anymore
yet I know I will
continue testing them and me
one and the same
so I can remain certain
of the only thing that is
certain permanent reliable
relationships
all are bound
together for eternity
no them no other
only one
that is the answer to the test
the divine human equation
one
I passed the test
so did they
they always will
if they
we
look within to our soul
and not without
to find the answer
the truth
of one
v. what about me
why
who
what
I do not understand
why I should care
about any of it
they are foreign
strange unknown
I pity them
father
sacrificing son and self
mother
sitting in silence
enabling all
son
risking all
for what
god
self-centered
manipulative
needing to know the truth
even if it kills
them
leave me alone
I do not want to know you
yet I must I do
for you are all within me us
our spiritual DNA
no
I refuse to believe this
is the truth
I would not
sacrifice for any god
I would not abandon
a child
I would not risk my life
to prove my loyalty
I would not ask the unaskable
of those I claim to love
merely to serve my needs
or calm my insecurities
or would I
have I
will I again
don’t we all
no
I do not believe with complete faith
that this is the truth
yet I know with complete faith
that it is
love sacrifice pain surrender
fury resignation
all are part of life for us
because we are human
we make mistakes
but what about god our image
our source
we do not want to cause pain
still we do
we do not want to test
the limits of faith of love
still we do
we do not want to sit inactive
allowing the plot life
to unfold before our eyes
unable or afraid to stop it
still we do
we do not want
to sacrifice the self
to find the truth
the one
still we must
why
why can it not be simple
no pain no test
no sacrifice no surrender
because without
pain
testing
sacrifice
surrender
life would not be life
we would not act
we would simply exist
without truly being
we would be
like Isaac without laughter
never able to leave home
Abraham in his tent
sitting welcoming guests
never going beyond
comfortable boundaries
Sarah protecting precious possessions
maintaining the status quo
never allowing for freedom growth
living
God uncertain testing
how far each will go
what each will do as proof
to surrender to divine will
to walk the path step by step
to continue the work of creation
I do not like them
yet I love them
I know them
their actions feelings
are a part of me
I am a part of them
part of the plan
whether I accept it or not
living brings pain
but pain becomes suffering
when we do not take action
when we do not try in our hearts to connect
to something greater
when we deny the truth
of the call of the divine whatever that is
within us
perhaps this is what they
are all are trying to teach us
their descendents and creations
Still
I don’t like the players
I don’t like the author
I don’t like the plot
yet I watch it unfold
within around
even now
I feel the pain
and know there is something greater
I must learn
so it does not become suffering
I wish there were an easier way
to learn it
maybe
next
year
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